Ok,
So working in a bar has it's perks and downers like anything else. One of the more annoying aspects you encounter is a severely quickened process in which you get "sick" of songs. Now, I'm the first to admit I've never worked a club or lounge, with a different DJ every night, but I have followed certain DJ's around to different venues. They more or less spin the same mixes, even if they do throw in that current weeks newly released material.
In speaking from personal experience at Boston's finest dive, "The Beacon Hill Pub", my fellow staff and I have watched some of our most beloved musical artists go from god status to merely a trigger: one that forces us into a mood of annoyance and bitterness. We had noticed it here and there over the years, it would usually sneak into some post-work, beer infused, conversation in which someone would express their objection to somebody playing a certain song over and over again or a ghastly, drunken, ten minutes before 2:00 am sing-along that propelled certain material into an abyss of loathing. We also clearly have the jukebox marked with a sign that says "Shuts off 2:00 AM sharp".
Enter drunken asshole.
The two biggest offenders are pretty hard to say for sure, however, I'm going to judge this one on principle of personal bias and level of annoyance--or better known as--the one's that stand out the most.
1) For a long time the crowning champion of nightcap songs was "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker" by O.A.R. (the live version). Now, to be honest, I never have cared for O.A.R. in the past but people do seem to enjoy them quite a bit. Fair enough. Except when the staff asks nicely and gives you a verbal warning that it is the last song of the night, and they proceed to play this sprawling, never-ending, obnovious live version of the song in which you spend more time hearing the audience than the band? Brutal. Here is commandment number one...if you wanna play a 10 minute song? Play it 10 minutes before close...not two minutes before and then bitch when we shut the stupid thing off.
2) Honorable mention: If people had the choice and could perfectly the song with last call it would undoubtedly be "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. This song has unofficially been banned in the BHP and is the lamest last call song ever known to the city of Boston. I'm not sure where this wretched creation picked up steam, however, it really seems popular in the University Of Massachusetts @ Amherst bars. That is sad to say as I love the zoo and am amazed at the fact that I can even recall last call songs when I was there. Look, I'm all for ridiculous fads and cheesy songs but people give it a rest. It's dead.
A couple good selections? "Take Me Home Tonight" by Eddie Money or "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer. There doesn't really need to be a reason for Eddie, except for the fact that his name is Eddie Money and if you ever get a chance to look at the man in a picture? Do it, 80's legend hair. The Weezer pick is more of my personal bias coming out...It is more or less the theme song to the Beacon Hill Pub...but when the night is winding down? What song is better?
Part II: Redundancy is not funny. Your either an asshole or an idiot, or a terrible combination of the two (This includes "Joke" songs which are meant to be funny, and are not).
This one is more exclusively for bars and house parties. The unforgivable act of playing the same song twice in a row is absolutely the cardinal sin of jukebox etiquette. Reasons for doing this are completely ridiculous: I once heard someone claim it is "funny" as the person who picks it, because you know it is playing over and over again and you are "waiting for the moment" the entire crowd realizes it is the same song. Bullshit. Someone always notices, whether sober or drunk. Bullshit again. The crowd never altogether groans, and if they do, it's the very moment it starts again. Most machines nowadays have a blocker against this type of terrorism, however, the bar I work at does not--so the next best thing works--the cancel button. This is still too much effort given the fact it is all some idiot trying to be amusing.
Another example would be an un-named group of individuals with a "hilarious" inside joke about playing "the best Jay-z song ever" which they felt was "Show Me What You Got" (I personally digress for a second: that is easily Jay-z's worst first single off any album in his illustrious career and the fact that people believe that scares me). They found it amusing as hell and even went to great lengths to retrieve the jukebox controller at the end of the night to try and put it back on past two o'clock. They played the song six times in a span of three hours. Not cool.
Playing the same artist twice in a row is treading on thin ice. It tends to turn into a whole album fiasco in which instead of hearing Dr. Dre's brilliant beats and voice on "Chronic 2001" we are instead abusively subjected to the absurd interludes that involve a threesome with two women and a number of phonecalls. I'm pretty sure there is someone impersonating an older lady in one of the skits that articulates art extremely well with: "Get that dick off my shoulder". Spark one up and bump the entire album in your apartment after the bars close, don't do it in the bar.
(One exception. In the event there is a concert in town and large fan base from the show are in attendance, the same artist rule need not apply).
Michael Jackson has forever been ruined for me. People will play four to five songs in a row and claim it's in memoriam. The dude died in June. Get over it. Do your drunken whiteboy moonwalk at the house and stop pretending like you listened to him religiously in the years leading up to his death...or when he was on trial for that matter. You've been trashing the guy with Macaulay Culkin jokes for ten years and now you wanna take a turn in line?
I will try and include a list of songs that should never be played publically under any circumstances. I'm sure it won't be too big, but there will be some on their. Here is a preview:
Barbie Girl - Don't even try it.
Achy-Breaky Heart - May cause physical assault.
Sweet Caroline (in Boston: sorry peeps, it's old, unless your having beer spilled on you while crammed into a wooden seat next to some drunken prick in the eight inning in America's best ballpark? Forget it).
"Funny songs": For some reason N'Sync still has a special place in peoples hearts. Guys and girls. I'm not sure why. The Backstreet Boys too. I think it is the recognition of our absurd phases in teenage and tween-age years. I get it, have some fun, that's cool. But if random N'Sync, LFO and Backstreet Boys keep popping up over the course of the night, and your the one driving? It's no longer funny, no one is laughing, no one is dancing. They are annoyed. So are we. Get serious.
Maybe this is the Umass Amherst bias in me but another small personal digression. I worked Mary-Annes at Boston College last week. Taylor Swift's "Love Story" came on...four to five times. We already addressed the re-playing issue. I just want everyone to know that the BC bar maybe the only place in the city of Boston guys and girls sing that song at the top of their lungs in a huge crowd "pleasing" exercise. I had one guy come up to me and tell me it's the "class of 2010's theme song". I don't even know what to say. Comments please.
If you can't think of anything to play don't go through the 1 credit cheap set. CCR is not acceptable filler music over the course of the night. I fucking love CCR. Not over the course of a Friday night! Ask a friend or if your unsure? Stay away from the box.
For some reason, people have not yet ruined U2 or Billy Joel. Thank you, all of you, and may god hold you in the highest of places. Keep up the good work.
Please keep up this trend. Respect the crowd, the bartenders, the bouncers and humanity. No one needs to hear the same song twice in a row, try to have a good idea of what crowd your dealing with, and if you must play something that annoys 90 percent of people (Acid death metal for instance) then do it--but do it quickly. I'm all for freedom, but everything has boundaries. I know you think it's funny, or you don't care, or you don't think people notice. They do. Trust me. We all do. Music is the heartbeat of a good night out. Some songs you'll never be able to get out of your head because they go hand in hand with some of the best experiences of your life. Remember, there is a flip-side to everything, and these same musical experiences can accompany the worst memories.
Flatten out your one dollar bills and choose wisely.
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